Duck Duck Cougar?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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