I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
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