what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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