id be glad to
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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