He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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