This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
