Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
