I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
