I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
