Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
