respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
