That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
