You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
