We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
