do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
