i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
