OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
