Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Randomize
