butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
