i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize