But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize