I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
