Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
