Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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