I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
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