I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
