Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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