I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
