porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize