One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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