Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
