Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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