your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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