I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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