i barfeds in our rink
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
