I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
