Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
