I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
