Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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