Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
