the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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