You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
A+ Viking dick
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
