how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
