A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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