TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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