i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize