physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
