remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
