So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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