Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Randomize
