All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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