I wannas sexs uuuuu
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
