I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Let's paint friendship bongs
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
