Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
