I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
