Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
we made out on top of his cat.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Randomize