Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
