I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
