i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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