look no pants
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
