Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize