Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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