a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
