He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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