i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
third nipple confirmed
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
