all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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