She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
