I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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