yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
